Quaero Sapientia: The Man

In the twilight of the morning he was born, a little baby boy full of possibilities. It was in this same twilight that the life that he would lead was mapped and crafted by an unknown and unseen deity. The boy grew and learned, he found a hunger and a desire to know more, one that would follow him his whole life. As the boy grew his parents took him to church, the church taught the boy about a god that would punish him if he didn't act just as they did and when the boy would ask questions the people at the church would ignore him and teach the propaganda that they would prop up as truth. The boy began to hate the days that he would be made to go to church and more then that the boy began to hate god.

Soon the boy grew and became adolescent and stopped going to church. He also started to hang out with other groups who enjoyed learning and finding out what and why others believed the way that they do. These people didn't say that there was only one way to go about finding spirituality but that everyone had to find their own way of spirituality. He not only started to look at his spiritual life but the boy kept learning, acquiring anything that he could get his hands on. At this point in his life he also met a girl who caught and kept his attention just as much as any book and the boy soon learned the joys that can be found in the opposite sex. The two of them made plans to be together forever, to grow old and die in each others arms.

One of the plans that the two made together was to go to college together and learn about the world together, but soon it became apparent that she could no longer hold on to this position in the boys life and if she did the pressure would soon become to great and would lead to a greater tragedy then was already being portrayed in the relationship as it was. The boy was heart broken by this news and fell into a deep depression. The boy turned to anything in his reach, which more often then not was a bottle of Jack Daniel's. It was also at this time that he met Tim, Tim was a heavy drinker and could curse anyone under the table. He looked at Tim like he was hero and they became the best of friends. The two of them would laugh and at time cry in each others arms and soon the boy bounced back and became even more obsessed with knowledge to the point that it was running through his veins like blood.

The boy graduated with a degree in science and grew in stature and knowledge to the point that he could no longer be called a boy any longer but could be called nothing but a man. Him and Tim were still best of friend and he found another girl after college and had a family, a boy and a girl. One day the man took his family out to the store and while he was pumping gas he sent his wife into get some drink for them and the kids. It was clear and silent in that moment almost like the gods knew that something epic was about to happen and were holding there breath in wait for what ever it was going to be, and they wouldn't have to wait long to find out. The only thing that broke the silence to let you know something was wrong was the screeching from the tiers as the man drove around the corner of the gas station running from the police. The man hadn't even turned around and some how he already knew what had happened, he played it in his mind a thousand times before he lifted his head just in time to see his wife breath her last breath. In that moment it didn't matter who had done it, it didn't matter why they didn't, the only thing that mattered was that the man was there standing over his wife with two kids reduced to the boy that he was only a few years before.

It wasn't long before Tim was there to comfort his friend and morn the lose of his wife. Soon the funeral came and left with little lasting effects. Soon a routine came in to there life, get up, get the kids to school, go to work, pick the kids up, feed the kids, put them to bed, get drunk, go to bed and repeat. Tim watched as his friend waisted away, Time knew that he had to do something even if it was only for one night he had to do something. So Tim decided to go camping, he arranged to drop the kids off at their grandparents and went and bought a cooler full of alcohol and they were off to the great mountains of Nevada. It wasn't long before they had the fire going, it wasn't long before they got the conversation going and of course it wasn't the before they got the alcohol going. The sun had set before they started to talk about anything seriously. The man never wanted to learn what he would learn in the next minute or so but his life was already coursed and plotted.

Tim: Can I ask you a question?

Man: Tim how long have we known each other, you know with enough alcohol you can ask me anything (says as he take a large drink).

Tim: What were you think in those first few moments after your wifes death?

Man: (takes another big drink) I can remember everything about that moment, the smell of gas, the man next to me pumping gas into his big truck that screams “I have a small dick” and I can remember thinking simply...not now

Tim: Not now?

Man: Yeah!

Tim: Why were you thinking “not now”? Did you know that something like that was going to happen?

Man: Yeah I did. There has never been anything in my life that god has let me keep, as a child he took my innocence, in college he took away the love of my life it was only a matter of time before a prick like that would take away something else in my life.

Tim: So you believe that there's a God out there?

Man: Yep. I can't explain all of this without him, but you know that saying absolute power corrupts absolutely?

Tim: (nods his head yes)

Man: Well that's god!

Tim: Really...you think so?

Man: (stumbles as the alcohol becomes noticeable in his steps) Oh yeah...number one flucker god is.

Tim: (sits back in chair trying to get more out of the buzz) You know there are a lot of people who think that God is a merciful person.

Man: Their all fools. (stumbles to a tree to pee)

Tim: You know I follow God.

Man: (stops peeing and walks back with out zipping up) What was that? It sounded like you said you were a Christian?

Tim: I wouldn't say Christian but I do follow God and Jesus and all of that.

Man: Your an ass. Don't joke like that.

Tim: I'm not.

Man: You can't be, you curse, you drink.

Tim: So?

Man: (starts to walk to the car and gets about half way there and throws up)

Tim: Are you ok? (gets up and turn around to help)

Man: Don't talk to me. (walks off into the woods)

Tim would go after him that night and talk to him more about what it was that he believed in, it took and few more conversations like that before the man started to come to church with Tim, and soon after the kids started to come as well. As the man started to walk in God a weird thing started to happen, none of his problems went away, in fact they get much worse but for some reason it was ok. Another thing that happened was the man started to get the desire to learn again, a feeling the he hadn't felt since he lost his wife. Ten years later Tim would die from a heart attack at the age of forty five and the man was heart broken, but in this death God showed him everything that He had done through out the mans life.

It was a short twenty years latter and the man was about to die. He looked back on his life and brought his kids into his room to give them some last words of wisdom from all of the knowledge that he had gained over the years. It was this time that he would draw his last breath because it was this moment that was chosen for him from the time that he was born, there was never going to be a better time then this. The room was dark, what you would expect to be the setting of a death, there were machines pumping, and screens beeping. There was the smell of urine in the air and blood on the floor, the nurse was outside smoking. With a hug and a kiss he whispered this into his sons ear with almost poetic poise